DANNY DE HEK Entrepreneur Decision Maker Connector Podcaster EducatorYou don’t need abs of steel or a Barbie doll figure to be able to do this.

It is all about making a connection and attitude so pull out you super powers and remember you are sexy and you know it!

Try and arrive not too early or not too late. If you are too early it can be more challenging as Dutch courage for many people has not kicked in. You may notice many bars get louder as the night goes on provided you can hear above loud music that is. People enjoy talking more but be aware if you arrive too late some people may not be in a state for recognisable conversation!

Other suggestions would be to leave your phone in your pocket as it will unwittingly sabotage your efforts. People who take their phone out all the time can be mistaken for waiting for their partner to arrive, players or simply not being interested in the outside world.

Also take time by finding a nice quiet spot to scope the bar out and suss out any interesting people as well as giving yourself time to familiarise and relax in the environment. Some people may find it easier having a friend or two for support but others may find it a hindrance so choose the right balance for you. Remember don’t exclude chatting to those without picture perfect looks as it’s true what they say about looks not being everything and you could miss out on a lot of fun.

When you decide to approach and chat to somebody stand tall and make eye contact. Keep eye contact even when it’s made back. To look away can show lack of confidence. Start the conversation by simply saying ‘hi’. Ask them how their night is going and introduce yourself. Ask open ended questions which are difficult to answer with a yes or no or one-word answer.

You can also try asking if you had seen them somewhere before and give suggestions to gain clues about them and make a connection. Once a connection is made talk about it. Find topics you both like but do not be afraid to talk about something they like but you know little about. This will boost their ego and be educational for you. Look at their friends and include them in the conversation as well. Apart from politeness you will come across as friendly and more desirable that way and the conversation can take off easier with more involved.

Give extra attention to anyone you fancy and mirror their actions but try not to make it like a game of ‘Simon Says’. People pick up on subtle body language without realising and it sends positive vibes to them. If all is going well touch them subtly in conversation and lean in to talk to them. Smile as it makes you more approachable and people prefer to be around happy positive people. Most of all remember to relax and be yourself.

Avoid the pitfalls of talking about ex’s or non-positivity. Ask questions relating to them and show interest. If they only want to talk about themselves that is a cue to move on. Conversation should be give and take not all one sided. Remember there is a big sea out there with plenty of fish and eventually with patience and skill you will catch one hook, line and sinker!

Also take time even when you are comfortable chatting to someone or a group of people make the effort to chat to others. It is good to socialize and expand your horizons. You can gain more phone numbers that way and you are not limiting your options.

Remember most of all to have fun. It is not all about meeting Mr. or Mrs. right. It’s about meeting new people, making connections and enjoying good conversation. The journey can be just as much fun as the destination and it is up to you which road you travel so make the most of it and enjoy xx

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